Love is a living being that needs to be cared for and nourished every day; when it is unwell, mindfulness is the “medicine” for healing. Parents and loved ones must be like gardeners: recognizing wholesome seeds—intelligence, freshness, self-sacrifice, courage—and watering them with words of praise, acts of care, and avoiding “unwholesome programs” or alcohol that can sow seeds of fear and hatred.

Caring for love requires the harmonious cooperation of the three karmas and a clear understanding of the five skandhas that make up a human being, so that we may first love ourselves and then truly love others:

• The three karmas:
  1. Right thinking (understanding, recognizing positive seeds—wrong thinking sows suffering)
  2. Right speech (loving speech that nurtures wholesome values)
  3. Right action (acts of care and protection)
• The five skandhas: form, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, consciousness—contemplating to understand clearly our feelings, perceptions, and habits

True love is also the sharing of responsibility to transform negative seeds in our loved ones, standing by their side as a companion, not judging but practicing mindfulness together. Parents, before starting a family, should practice for at least one year to obtain a “certificate of happiness,” establishing a foundation of peace for the family, and at the same time building a sangha—a wholesome environment—as a refuge for young people to stay away from violence, drugs, and hatred, and to continue nurturing enduring love.

The details of this talk include Thich Nhat Hanh’s advice on asking practical rather than theoretical questions, sharing experiences in parenting, and guiding careful selection of friends to avoid alcohol. He emphasizes the importance of a healthy environment for children and the responsibility of parents in imparting moral values. He warns about the consequences of abortion and encourages sharing between parents and children to build trust. He also discusses preserving cultural traditions, educating children gently without violence, and the importance of love in education. He encourages daily mindfulness practice and updating knowledge to avoid becoming outdated. He shares about the responsibility of transmitting moral and cultural values between generations, and the importance of understanding society and the future. He concludes with advice on education based on respect and understanding instead of violence.

Thich Nhat Hanh welcomes the Sangha to a morning Q&A session divided into three groups—children first, then teenagers, and finally adults—and explains that a good question arises from the heart, touches our happiness, suffering, or practice, need not be long, and may be submitted in writing; participants are invited to sit around Thay, signal readiness with the sound of a bell, then breathe together before asking.

Children’s questions:

1. What should I do when other children tease me?
2. When you were young, what did you like about the Buddhist monks that made you decide you wanted to become one?

Teenagers’ question:

1. “The joy I feel when walking, breathing, or chanting with mindful concentration is not the joy I feel when eating rich food or indulging in comforts—what are the types of joy and what are their natures?”

Adults’ questions:

1. How do you give all those long Dharma talks and speeches without getting scared?
2. What inspired you to write books?
3. How do you deal with and overcome fear?
4. How can I reconcile working for environmental and social justice in New York City—with its speed and need to move people and protect community gardens—while holding mindful practice?
5. How do I honor the suffering of the boat people and feel peace and happiness as well?
6. Once a being passes away, does its knowledge go to waste?
7. For people who are adopted and don’t know their parents or who have traumatic relationships with them, how can they connect with their parents in meditation?
8. How can I help others access their true self as a life coach when the ultimate teaching is that there is no self?
9. What advice do you have for parents who want to raise their children to be more mindful and compassionate?

The details of this discussion highlight the importance of mindfulness and conscious breathing to access inner peace and happiness. By practicing mindfulness towards our breathing, our eyes, and our heart, we can appreciate the positive aspects of our life and transform suffering into understanding and compassion. Mindful meditation allows us to unite body and mind, thus promoting emotional stability. The community plays an essential role in supporting this practice. By taking care of ourselves and others, we transform negative emotions and cultivate inner peace. Compassion towards those who suffer, even towards oneself, is crucial to overcoming challenges and fostering an environment of love and understanding.

Thầy defines mindfulness is a simple and poetic way: “Mindfulness is your heart going back to the present moment.” In order to bring our heart and mind back to the present, we must cultivate awareness through such actions as conscious breathing, walking meditation, and mindful eating.

Mindfulness is essential for true presence and connection with loved ones, recognizing life’s wonders, and fostering happiness and emotional well-being. Through mindful living, we nurture our hearts, bodies, and minds, learning to appreciate simple joys and fostering true happiness.

This is the fourth of twenty-one talks given during the Summer Opening retreat, in 1995. Thầy offered this talk at the Lower Hamlet, Plum Village, France.

Thay’s teachings on Buddhist Psychology during the November 2-9, 1997 Retreat at Key West, Florida, USA, focus on the theme of Buddhist psychology. On Day 3, November 4, 1997, Thay teaches on the first eight verses of the Fifty Verses on Buddhist Psychology, exploring the nature of the flower and the garbage, the transformation of flowers, and the nature of Interbeing between pairs of opposites such as enlightenment and illusion, which do not exclude each other and are always present.

Thay discusses Dukka, or suffering, as the first of the Four Noble Truths, emphasizing the need to recognize ill-being and understand its nature. The teachings from the Fifty Verses include:

1. Mind as a field in which every kind of seed is sown, likened to a gardener or the earth that holds and maintains everything together, highlighting the function of Alaya.
2. The infinite variety of seeds, including those of samsara, illusion, nirvana, suffering, delusion, and enlightenment, and the transformation of samsara and suffering.
3. Seeds manifesting as body and mind, realms of beings, stages, and worlds within our consciousness, known as store consciousness, including the six sense organs, six objects of the sense organs, six kinds of sense consciousness, the Eighteen Realms of Beings, the three worlds (form, desire, and non-form), and the ten stages of the bodhisattva.
4. Seeds that are innate, handed down by ancestors, sown in the womb, or during childhood, questioning their origin and permanence.
5. The nature of seeds as both individual and collective, transcending the pair of opposites, illustrated through metaphors such as a bus and its passengers, and a candle’s brightness, exploring concepts of self and non-self.
6. The quality of life depending on the quality of seeds in our consciousness.
7. The function of store consciousness to receive, maintain, and manifest seeds, likened to an ocean receiving many rivers, and the training of positive energy and habits.
8. The perception of Alaya as a field within themselves, representations, or mere images included in the 18 realms of being, with teachings on the field of representation, the field of things in themselves, and the field of mere image.

The session concludes with a short teaching on suffering and relationships, addressing seeds of loyalty and betrayal and dealing with situations that are not to one’s liking.

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Thầy reflects on the joy of practicing with children, who naturally embody presence, openness, and mindfulness. Through simple practices like hugging, pebble meditation, and “lemonade meditation,” children show how to live fully in the moment without being trapped by the past or future.

Thầy teaches interbeing—the insight that everything exists through connection—and emphasizes the importance of “arriving” in the here and now through stopping, breathing, walking, and eating mindfully. True peace and happiness, come from dwelling deeply in the present.

The Sangha, or community, is essential for sustaining this practice, providing collective energy and support for transformation. By practicing together, we can touch the wonders of life, reclaim our freedom, and glimpse the ultimate dimension beyond birth and death. The guiding mantra is: “I have arrived, I am home. In the here and the now. I am solid, I am free. In the ultimate, I dwell.”

The talk closes with Sister Chân Không leading the singing of “I Have Arrived, I am Home” in Vietnamese, French and English.

This the first talk in a series of seventeen given during the Summer Opening in the year 1994. Thầy offered this talk at the Upper Hamlet, Plum Village, France.

This talk details the joy of breathing effortlessly by allowing natural breathing without manipulation, recognizing each breath to deepen its quality and pleasure, bringing calm and joy. Mindful breathing creates harmony and calm, breathing in calmness and breathing out ease. Smile to release tension and appreciate the present moment. Practice five breathing exercises in activities like gardening or driving. Mindfulness and concentration enhance the quality of each step. The wisdom of 2500 years is symbolized by a stick, and teachings seep in naturally like rain. Consciousness, or alaya, stores seeds of samsara, nirvana, suffering, happiness, perceptions, and words. Nirvana, our true nature, dissolves fear and suffering. Liberation involves nurturing seeds of happiness and avoiding watering seeds of suffering. Perception involves recognizing signs and interconnectedness. Collective consciousness manifests in realms of desire, form, and non-form, reflecting suffering and liberation. Practice mindfulness to nurture positive seeds and break the cycle of suffering passed down generations. Mindfulness helps identify seeds and habit energies, freeing us from binds. The wave symbolizes essence beyond distinctions, merging with the vastness of water.

Thầy teaches that our mother is still alive in every cell of our body, and that if we live beautifully and happily, she is beautiful and happy in us. On the birthday of the Buddha, he begins with the children and a practice for those whose mother is still alive and those whose mother is no longer there.

From the Avataṃsaka Sūtra, Thầy tells the story of the young Sudhana, sent by the Bodhisattva Mañjuśrī to learn from fifty-three teachers. He meets one of them, Lady Mahāmāyā, the mother of the Buddha, not by traveling but by following his breathing, seated on a lotus of one thousand petals. She tells him there was space inside her for thousands of bodhisattvas, and Thầy shares that a happy person has a lot of space inside: “If you want your beloved one to be happy, offer her space—not money.” He invites future parents to offer that space to the child within, and closes the children’s part with a practice for the day: to look into our mother’s eyes and tell her that she is Lady Mahāmāyā.

With the adults, Thầy explores how we are the continuation of our parents and ancestors, with no separate self. He recalls telling his father within him that they had succeeded, and invites us to put our hand on our forehead and find our mother’s hand there. The true Buddha, he says, is not on the altar but in us; for a disciple of Jesus Christ, the hand of Jesus is in their own hand.

Thầy teaches that transforming the suffering handed down by our ancestors is the highest form of filial piety. Suffering and happiness are both organic, like the mud and the lotus, so even love that has turned into hate can become love again. Through a woman in Paris who rediscovers her husband’s old love letters, and the seeds in store consciousness, he offers the practice of Flower Watering between partners and within families.

The talk closes with a husband from Bordeaux who knew the practice but needed someone to remind him. We need a kalyāṇamitra—a friend in the practice—and Thầy invites us to see the Buddha not only as a teacher or a father but as a friend who takes our hand on the path.

This talk was given during the Plum Village Spring Asia Tour in the year 2011. Thầy offered this talk at the Lotus Pond Temple in Ngong Ping, Lantau Island, Hong Kong.

The fourth mindfulness training is the art of listening with compassion and using loving speech within the family. We already carry violence in each role—father, mother, child—and must learn to care for it through deep listening and loving speech. Organize regular “listening sessions” at home, inviting one or two respected friends, siblings or teachers when a neutral witness can help bridge wrong perceptions and restore trust.

Key practices include:
• Setting aside time every day to listen patiently to your child, your partner and yourself—this is the practice of love.
• Helping children embrace strong emotions through mindful breathing and walking together, offering support before crises escalate.
• Applying the skillful means of đồng sự (“doing together”) by joining your child’s activities—watching a good TV program, fishing, or simply sitting quietly—to guide and invest in their future.
• Caring for two children:

1. the wounded child within you
2. the child sitting before you

Family becomes a universal school of peace education. By investing time, energy and affection, you offer society its best gift—your children—and find true meaning beyond fame or wealth. Cultivate listening and compassionate speech in every interaction, and celebrate your ancestors’ support through a family tree and altar, calling on their life force to sustain you in moments of difficulty.

We must preserve the happiness of our family and our personal dignity; if we cannot establish communication with our children and our partner, it will be a deep source of shame (tàm). The Tale of Kieu reminds us: “Later, why should you be ashamed before your beloved? You did not keep yourself pure from the beginning,” and the story of Ta Con—the Cao family girl who broke her shuttle while weaving to preserve her chastity—affirms the importance of protecting our purity so that we do not feel ashamed before ourselves and our loved ones.

The sources of energy that help us transform our family by our own strength in just a week or ten days:

1. faith
2. sense of shame (tàm)
3. sense of respect (quý)

The method to transform suffering is through loving speech and deep listening, not by punishing but by understanding the other person’s difficulties. For example, words that express love:

• A father says to his child: “I know you are suffering, you are feeling stuck. Please tell me so I can help you.”
• A wife says to her husband: “Dear, I know there is a lot of difficulty and suffering in you. I feel very sad for you. Do you think there is something I can do to help ease your suffering?”

Sitting quietly and listening, using the eyes of love and the nectar of compassion, we become the embodiment of Avalokiteshvara, opening the door of our heart, ending the cycle of punishment and increasing suffering.