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Anger

Thich Nhat Hanh · October 11, 2008 · Plum Village, France · Audio Only
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Breathing in, one sees oneself as a five-year-old child, vulnerable, fragile, and perhaps deeply wounded. Breathing out, one smiles to this wounded child with compassion, promising to return and help them heal. This contemplation extends to seeing one’s father and mother as five-year-old children, recognizing their suffering and smiling to them with understanding. Consciousness consists of seeds, or bija. Everyone possesses a seed of anger, but also seeds of joy, happiness, forgiveness, and loving kindness. In relationships, one must be careful not to water the negative seeds of anger, fear, and jealousy in others, but instead promise to water only the positive seeds of compassion and joy.

When the seed of anger is watered, it manifests as a zone of energy. Without practice, a person can become like a bomb ready to explode, causing fear in those around them. To defuse this bomb, one turns to the practice of mindful breathing and mindful walking to generate the energy of mindfulness. This energy recognizes and embraces anger tenderly, just as a mother holds her suffering baby. The practice is not to fight or suppress anger, which is violence, but to hold it in a non-violent way based on the principle of non-duality. A Peace Treaty can be established between loved ones to maintain the practice of watering good seeds and refraining from watering seeds of suffering.

If anger persists after twenty-four hours of practice, one must communicate with the other person using three sentences:

  1. Darling, I suffer and I want you to know it.
  2. I am doing my best.
  3. Please help me.
    Writing these down helps overcome the pride that often prevents healing and allows for the removal of wrong perceptions. For strong emotions like anger and despair, which are like a storm, one brings the mind down to the navel and focuses entirely on the rise and fall of the abdomen through deep belly breathing. Ultimately, the three energies of understanding, compassion, and mindfulness neutralize anger. Compassion is born from understanding, which is cultivated through deep listening and loving speech.
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