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How to Open the Heart
A handful of salt put into a bowl of water makes the water too salty to drink, but if thrown into a river, the vast river remains pure; a narrow heart is easily afflicted by suffering, while a heart as vast as the ocean is not troubled by the touches of life. The heart here is loving kindness, which can be gradually nourished and enlarged through the practice of the Four Immeasurable Minds, that is, the four boundless minds, or collectively called the Immeasurable Mind. Organizations such as Médecins Sans Frontières (Doctors Without Borders), Lawyers Without Borders, and others are vivid examples of loving kindness that extends beyond the boundaries of geography or religion.
When we encounter someone who causes us suffering, there are three concrete steps of practice to help our heart grow larger:
- Look directly at the suffering of that person and give rise to the wish to help them suffer less, instead of blaming.
- Use loving speech to express clearly that you are suffering, that you have tried to practice but have not succeeded, and sincerely ask for their help.
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Listen with compassion (compassionate listening), allowing them the opportunity to share their heart fully, even if their words are mistaken or reproachful.
Practicing these three steps not only helps the other person to suffer less, but immediately makes our own heart more spacious, shortening the path to Buddhahood.
