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Loving oneself and the five contemplations to let go of anger
The first exercise on the Four Immeasurable Minds begins with the wish for body and mind to be peaceful, light, safe, and free from accidents, anger, afflictions, fear, or anxiety. The first object of love must be oneself, because the capacity to love others depends on the capacity to love oneself. If we do not know how to love and take care of ourselves, we may become our own enemies through our daily thinking, acting, and speaking.
Practice looking back at oneself with the eyes of understanding and love, in which understanding is the key that opens the door of the heart. The practitioner needs to recognize and touch the seeds of joy and happiness, while also seeing the roots of the three poisons: craving, anger, and ignorance. When anger arises, one needs to return to guard the mind, using the energy of mindfulness to embrace and tenderly hold the anger like a mother holding her child, instead of suppressing or pushing it away.
To overcome anger toward others, the Discourse on the Simile of Water by Shariputra offers five methods of contemplation corresponding to five situations:
- A person whose bodily actions are not pure but whose speech is pure: pay attention to the kind speech and forget the actions.
- A person whose speech is not pure but whose bodily actions are pure: remember the kind actions and forget the speech.
- A person whose bodily actions and speech are not pure but whose mind still possesses a little purity: look at the small positive point remaining in their heart.
- A person whose bodily actions, speech, and mind are all not pure: give rise to compassion because they are suffering deeply and need help.
- A person whose bodily actions, speech, and mind are all pure: take refuge in and live close to that person.
