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Releasing and Smiling: Mindful Breaths for Healing Communication
To resolve difficulties in communication with family members, one must learn the practice of breathing mindfully, looking deeply, and listening deeply. It is not necessary to learn a lot; simply utilizing the words releasing and smiling while breathing in and out allows for the taking care of anger. When anger arises, do not say or do anything; instead, breathe until the anger subsides. This practice can be done indoors or in nature, ensuring that even when facing cruel words, one remains capable of breathing, releasing, and smiling to begin the work of reconciliation.
Sincere apology involves admitting responsibility for another’s suffering and asking for help to recognize shortcomings. Communication is often difficult because the door to the other person’s heart is shut. Understanding is the foundation of love; without understanding, love is impossible, even if the intention is there. Forcing what one thinks is good on another, like the strong smell of the durian fruit, causes suffering rather than happiness. To cultivate understanding, one must practice looking deeply (Vipasyana) into the other person.
Mindfulness establishes presence in the here and the now, which is the first condition for love. Without being truly present, one cannot love or communicate with what is in front of them. The most precious gift to offer a loved one is true presence. This is practiced by breathing in and out three times to ensure presence, looking into the eyes of the beloved, and using the mantra: “Darling, I know you are there, and I am happy.” Another mantra to learn by heart is: “Dear friends, I am there for you.”