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The Four Offerings That Open the Door to Happiness
Layman Tam Minh Le Dinh Tham was an outstanding physician and Buddhist scholar, a person capable of finding happiness in every moment, whether ascending the Dharma seat to teach sutras or sitting to play Chinese chess with children. True happiness comes from an open heart and mindfulness, not being caught in a single object or external conditions. Conversely, poetry and society often associate happiness with illusions or standards such as “families of equal standing,” “no college degree, no marriage,” or the dream of “his hammock going first, her hammock following behind.” Poems by Bang Ba Lan, Nguyen Binh with “Flowers and Wine,” or Xuan Dieu with “Distance” show that romantic love often contains despair, imagination used to forget suffering, and deep loneliness where “you are you, and I am still me” between two universes full of secrets that cannot be communicated.
For love not to lead to a hell of suffering but to bring happiness, we need to cultivate the substance of loving-kindness and compassion, discover ourselves to dissolve loneliness, and practice happiness through offering. The Buddha speaks of three kinds of offering, and through looking deeply we see a fourth gift that is very necessary for young people:
- The gift of material resources: offering money and material things.
- The gift of Dharma: offering methods to lessen suffering.
- The gift of non-fear: offering non-fear.
- Space: offering freedom and an ideal so that the person we love can move freely like a bird flying into the sky.