We can't find the internet
Attempting to reconnect
Something went wrong!
Hang in there while we get back on track. If this problem persists help us by reporting it so we can investigate it.
Watch this talk
Login or create a free account to watch this talk and discover other teachings from Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh.
Log in or create an account
The Most Precious Legacy
The happiness of parents is the most precious inheritance: When parents are joyful together, their children witness this through gentle words and loving gestures over many years, and naturally learn how to make their own partners happy in the future. The family is likened to a “university” where parents are “professors” who teach love not by theory, but by action. When parents unintentionally cause their children to suffer, a sincere apology earns the child’s respect; on the other hand, imposing and scolding destroys trust and affection.
Breaking the vicious cycle of habitual samsāra: According to the Buddha’s teachings, negative habits are transmitted through many generations if there is no practice. Only when we practice, recognize, and let go, can we avoid unconsciously forcing our children into molds created by misguided love. The method to resolve conflict (for example, in the marriage issue of a young woman in Texas) includes:
- Sitting together in Dharma discussion, each side acting as a “defense lawyer” for the one they love.
- Inviting the young man to visit and stay for two days over the weekend, with everyone treating him courteously and sweetly as an honored guest.
- Observing reality, listening to goodwill, and repeating the process as needed so the whole family can understand each other.
Opening the door of communication with loving speech and deep listening: Each member—even young children—has their own insight, contributing to the family’s happiness. Using words filled with love (loving speech) and the Dharma door of “deep listening” (listening deeply without interruption) helps parents understand their children and avoid causing them suffering in the name of love. If you wish to transmit the values of both Eastern and Western cultures, do not simply blame your children for being “too Western,” but instead, experience together, greet, and behave according to the best of both cultures in daily life. When the family is a sangha, the path of mindfulness and collective happiness can truly flourish.