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The Nutriment of Mindfulness
Gently lower the volume, sit down, and calm your mind. About sixty young people come together to search in the teachings of the Buddha for the principles of practicing love. A simple yet profound exercise: when the grandparents are watching television, the grandmother breathes in to calm her mind, breathes out and smiles three mindful breaths, then gently asks the grandfather to turn off the television so they can talk. After the television is turned off, she takes another deep, refreshing breath and asks: “Dear, are we a happy couple?” If the answer is no, she continues to ask: “Why is that?” This is a meditation koan that helps us look deeply and heal the suffering in our relationship. Meditation is to stop and look deeply into the roots of our suffering, so that we can transform and nourish love and understanding again.
To prevent and heal illness in a couple’s relationship, we need to learn the practice of mindfulness, mindful breathing, loving speech, and deep listening. Before getting married, lay practitioners should spend at least one year practicing in a practice center, preparing spiritual resources and experience. The ideal path for two people is expressed through the Five Mindfulness Trainings:
- Protecting life
- Helping others have the opportunity to live
- Safeguarding safety in love and family
- Practicing listening and speaking with loving speech
- Consuming only healthy products, protecting body and mind
When two people ask themselves throughout the day, “Is this action in line with the spirit of the Five Mindfulness Trainings?”, they are able to maintain their ideal, faith, and happiness. Nourishing right intention – the deep aspiration to transform suffering in order to help life suffer less – is the path of elevation, different from the endless cycle of craving and desire.