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A Letter of Reconciliation and Connecting Two Generations

Thich Nhat Hanh · July 31, 2000 · Plum Village, France
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The love letter to parents is practiced during a seven-day retreat through sitting meditation, walking meditation, and silent meals, in order to recognize the deep connection between ourselves and our parents. Richard did not have difficulty writing a letter to his father, but at first felt impoverished when writing to his mother because of accumulated resentment. Thanks to looking deeply into his anger, he discovered his mother’s good qualities:

  • her capability
  • her sacrifice
  • her sweetness
  • being an important root in the family

That process helped love to overflow, the pain to dissolve like clouds, and Richard’s mother was moved to tears because, for the first time, she truly felt her child’s love. He also wrote a second letter to comfort his mother, reminding her that grandmother is still present in both mother and child, unborn and undying through the breath and deep looking.

Asian families living in the West often experience a cultural gap between parents and children due to differences in age, culture, and ways of thinking. To reconcile and connect, it is necessary to practice mindfulness at Plum Village, including:

  • taking time to breathe gently and look deeply into our relationship with our family
  • sitting in a circle, turning off the television, putting down the newspaper to look at each other and listen deeply
  • applying the Five Mindfulness Trainings as a compass for family life
  • becoming people of “double culture” so that both parents and children can absorb the values of both East and West

When we practice the Dharma doors correctly, after only three to four weeks, the family can generate true joy and happiness.

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The Journey from Mindful Observation to Liberation

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