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Deep Listening and the Four Mantras of True Presence
Communication is essential for harmony and happiness, yet it has become difficult between family members and even within oneself. To restore and nourish these relationships, one practices compassionate listening, the art of the Bodhisattva Avalokiteśvara. This listening is not for criticizing or judging but has the sole intention of relieving the other person’s suffering. Mindful breathing is used to maintain compassion while listening, ensuring that irritation or anger does not arise. When struck by strong emotions like fear or despair, one should not remain at the level of thinking—the swaying branches of a tree in a storm—but bring attention down to the navel, the trunk of the tree, to find stability.
The practice of Touching the Earth helps cultivate peace and reconciliation. In the first prostration, one connects with blood and spiritual ancestors as well as descendants, accepting their imperfections and seeing oneself as a continuation of the stream of life. In the second prostration, one connects with all people and living beings in the present moment. This involves looking deeply to see oneself as both the victim and the oppressor—the girl on the boat and the sea pirate—fostering compassion for all, while also touching the stability and freedom of great beings around us.
To maintain true presence and prevent pride from destroying happiness, four mantras are practiced with the beloved:
- “Darling, I am here for you,” offering the gift of true presence.
- “Darling, I know you are there, and I am very happy,” acknowledging and appreciating the other’s existence.
- “Darling, I know you suffer. That is why I am here for you,” making oneself available when the beloved is in pain.
- “Darling, I suffer. Please help,” overcoming pride to ask for support when hurt by the person one loves most.
Additionally, a Peace Treaty helps resolve conflict. This agreement involves not suppressing anger but communicating it calmly within twenty-four hours, either verbally or through a written peace note, to restore harmony within the Sangha.
