The Evolution of Love from Tình to Nghĩa

Thầy weaves the personal experience of his love and his deep vulnerability as a young monk into the Buddha’s teachings on interconnectedness found in the Avataṃsaka Sūtra. The result is a wise, lovely tapestry that can be used by all of us who are dealing with everyday life, with the suffering in the world, and with personal heartbreak.

In this deep, personal, and vulnerable Dharma talk, Thầy breaks traditional taboos by offering open, practical guidance on what to do when struck by the arrow of love, breaking down its non-self nature:

• Bodhicitta as the Ultimate Protector: The accident of falling in love may cause you to suffer, but you are safe if you rely on your bodhicitta. When you have bodhicitta—that strong desire within you to serve others and practice—you are effortlessly protected and safe.

This is the eleventh talk in a series of thirteen giving during the Looking Deeply in the Mahāyāna Tradition, twenty-one-day retreat in the year 1992. Thầy offered this talk at the Lower Hamlet, Plum Village, France.

These teachings later appear in the book Cultivating the Mind of Love.

• The Soil of a Supportive Sangha: Taking refuge in a supportive Sangha nurtures bodhicitta. When the arrow of love strikes your soul and you suffer, being surrounded by a supportive community allows you to practice and transform. Without a Sangha, you are left “very vulnerable.”

• The Evolution from Tình to Nghĩa: It is the natural law of love to grow and evolve, moving from tình (initial passion, excitement, and possessiveness) into nghĩa (a calmer, profoundly deeper bond rooted in mutual gratitude, shared purpose, and absolute solidarity through life’s storms).

• The Cosmic Scope of Interbeing: Your love may appear to be between just two people, but your ancestors, your children, and their children are entirely involved in it; your joy, peace, happiness, and internal formations across time and space are a part of your love.

• The Practical Expansion of Love: The true practice of the Dharma expands love, fostering interconnectedness and compassion for yourself, your beloved, and all beings. To share this collective happiness, Thầy introduces his vision for three practical training schools: a school for tea meditation, a school to teach couples how to make each other happy before marriage, and a school to train people how to bring happiness to many.

This is the eleventh talk in a series of thirteen giving during the Looking Deeply in the Mahāyāna Tradition, twenty-one-day retreat in the year 1992. Thầy offered this talk at the Lower Hamlet, Plum Village, France.

These teachings later appear in the book Cultivating the Mind of Love.