We can't find the internet
Attempting to reconnect
Something went wrong!
Hang in there while we get back on track. If this problem persists help us by reporting it so we can investigate it.
Watch this talk
Login or create a free account to watch this talk and discover other teachings from Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh.
Log in or create an account
"Family Communication and Community Happiness"
• Establish and protect communication within the family by organizing a family council—a family meeting in a joyful, relaxed atmosphere—to together draft a “family constitution” or “charter” based on the standards of the Dharma. When there is disagreement, members examine opinions in the light of the Dharma, without clinging, ready to let go of wrong views in order to maintain harmony. The family is likened to an organic body, in which each member—father, mother, husband, wife, children—shares in the experience of suffering and must inform others when they are suffering or angry, creating conditions for immediate support from one another.
• Practice four main principles to maintain collective happiness and peace:
- The principle of shared responsibility—not placing all blame on one individual, but each member taking a share of responsibility for any mistake or suffering.
- Apologize first—whether the fault is big or small, apologize right away to dissolve tension, then together look into the proportion of responsibility.
- Use loving speech and practice deep listening—parents must open their hearts so that children have the opportunity to express themselves, and vice versa, without imposing authority or prejudice.
- Combine democracy and seniority—when making important decisions (for example, choosing a life partner for a child or deciding on ordination), all members—including the younger generation—have the right to speak, while also respecting the experience of elders, postponing the decision for a few more meetings if necessary to reach unanimity.