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Hong Kong Liêu Hòa Tu
In relationships, damaging words and actions are often driven by habit energy, a force transmitted by parents and ancestors that pushes us to repeat mistakes despite our goodwill. The problem is not to change the partner but to transform this energy. Rather than fighting or suppressing it, the practice involves simple recognition: generating mindfulness through breathing and walking to acknowledge the energy and smile to it. One may sign a treaty with family members, asking them to offer reminders when this energy emerges, allowing loved ones to become co-practitioners.
Meditation relies on the insight of non-duality, where negative and positive energies do not fight. Mindfulness embraces habit energy tenderly, just as a mother holds a suffering baby. Anger and despair are organic, like garbage that can be transformed into flowers; without the mud, the lotus cannot grow. Affliction is the very ground where the flower of enlightenment blooms.
Restoring communication requires compassionate listening and loving speech. A person filled with suffering is like a bomb ready to explode, often feeling boycotted when others avoid them. By listening with the sole purpose of giving the other a chance to empty their heart, one helps diffuse this bomb. Even if speech is full of wrong perceptions and blame, one listens with compassion, waiting for a later time to correct perceptions in small doses, like medicine. As beginners may lack the strength to hold deep suffering alone, building a Sangha or community of practitioners is essential to sustain the practice and restore harmony in families and society.
