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Questions and Answers
Questions and Answers
Thich Nhat Hanh
· May 3, 2012
· Upper Hamlet, Plum Village, France
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How can I handle the intense heartache that comes from longing for a partner?
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How can I handle the intense heartache that comes from longing for a partner?
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00:16:01
Thich Nhat Hanh
00:16:09
Sangha Member
When
we
cannot
open
our
heart,
it
is
because
we
are
afraid.
Spring
is
the
time
when
all
flowers
have
a
chance
to
open.
And
your
heart
is
a
flower.
You
must
allow
it
to
open.
And
how?
In
this
practice,
we
say
that
loving
oneself
is
the
foundation
for
loving
another.
To
love
does
not
only
mean
to
love
another
person.
If
we
are
able
to
love
ourselves,
then
we
can
love
another
person.
But
if
we
cannot
love
ourselves,
it
will
be
impossible
to
love
anyone
else.
And
to
love,
to
love
ourselves,
we
must
recognize
the
presence
of
suffering,
of
pain
within
us.
We
must
listen
deeply
to
our
own
suffering,
our
own
pain.
And
this
is
meditation.
We
embrace,
we
try,
we
train
ourselves
to
embrace
our
own
suffering,
our
own
happiness.
We
listen
deeply.
We
seek
to
recognize
the
roots,
the
nature
of
this
pain.
And
this
is
the
basic
practice.
With
this,
the
understanding
of
pain,
of
suffering,
will
come.
And
this
understanding
will
open
your
heart.
You
must
learn
to
love
yourself.
If
you
know
it
well,
if
you
understand
it
well,
if
you
truly
know
your
suffering,
then
you
can
accept
it.
This
is
because
this
suffering
is
not
an
individual
suffering.
In
this
suffering,
there
is
the
suffering
of
our
parents,
of
our
ancestors.
And
in
this
suffering,
there
is
the
suffering
of
the
world.
So
we
must
not
say
that
it
is
only
my
suffering.
Therefore,
by
understanding
this
suffering
within
ourselves,
we
also
understand
the
suffering
of
our
parents
and
our
ancestors.
And
in
this
way,
when
we
look
at
another
person,
we
can
see
the
suffering
in
them
very
easily.
And
our
heart
opens
right
away.
So
the
understanding
of
suffering
is
the
key
that
can
open
your
heart.
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