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Learning to Speak Gently and Lovingly

Thich Nhat Hanh · July 28, 2002 · Plum Village, France
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I spent ten days adrift at sea before being rescued by the Cap Anamur ship, exchanging my freedom at a very high price. Settling in a foreign land, I carried much suffering in my heart for having left behind my homeland, parents, friends, house, and money. Since 1996, I have been brought to Plum Village by Uncle and Aunt Nhien to practice the Dharma door of our Teacher: love and understanding, applying it in the family to transform suffering with true love and understanding.

Both you and I acknowledge that there have been words lacking in loving speech that have hurt each other and our children, so we offered tea before the community and made these vows:

  1. Father will not use harsh words with mother
  2. Mother will do the same with father
  3. Encourage the children to express their wishes

Guiding mindful eating, inviting the bell to practice silence, enjoying the meal, keeping body and mind stable in the present moment. Before the meal, we recite the five contemplations to remember the merit of the food and of life, applying the five contemplations as taught:

  • to observe and transform unwholesome habits, especially eating without moderation
  • to take only what nourishes and maintains health
  • to receive the meal as a step on the path of understanding and love

This afternoon, we practice listening and mindfulness of the breath to offer to Mong Tu Parker, concluding with the three titles of the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas.

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