Thầy offers four short mantras of love, which he says can bring happiness and relief right away. “How can you love if you are not there?” he asks. The first mantra offers our true presence as a gift; the second recognizes the presence of the one we love; the third lets them know we see their suffering. The fourth, “Darling, I suffer, please help,” is the most difficult because pride stands in the way, and Thầy shows how it can be offered in three short sentences, spoken, written on a piece of paper, or sent by email.

He shows what is at stake through a story everyone in Vietnam knows: a young father comes home from the army, his little son speaks of a “daddy” who came every night, and a wrong perception takes hold that neither husband nor wife brings into the open. Thầy invites us to keep the three sentences in our wallet for the next time we believe our suffering has been caused by the person we love the most.

The talk begins with the insight that comes from two or three seconds of mindful breathing: we are alive. Thầy speaks of the art of happiness, recognizing the conditions of happiness we already have, and the art of suffering, holding our pain the way a mother holds her baby. Lotus flowers, he reminds us, cannot grow on marble. He describes mindful breathing as effortless and open to anyone, and shares the first four exercises of the Sutra on Mindful Breathing for taking good care of our body and releasing its tension, whether in the family, the classroom, the corporation, or politics. The Buddha’s teaching to a group of businessmen, that they can be happy right here and right now, points to stopping as an art.

Thầy also explores loving speech and deep listening. He tells of a man at a retreat in Germany who telephoned the father he had vowed never to see again, and explains how mindfulness of compassion protects the listener from irritation and anger. Along the way he speaks of training schoolteachers, the Wake Up Schools movement, and cultivating freshness, peace, and freedom so that our presence can be offered to the one we love.

This talk was given on a Day of Mindfulness during the Nourishing Great Togetherness North American tour in the year 2013. Thầy offered this talk at Blue Cliff Monastery, Pine Bush, New York, in the United States.