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Nourishing Love and Happiness through Mindfulness
When love in marriage is “almost dead” because it is not nourished, people easily seek a new love but end up repeating the same old mistakes. Love needs “spiritual food” such as mindfulness, deep breathing, loving speech, and listening in order to be nourished every day; if it is left hungry, it will fade and die. In the family, a gap caused by loss of connection not only brings suffering to husband and wife but also deeply wounds the children.
Practice to nourish love:
- After a meal, watch television together, then use loving speech to invite each other to turn it off, take three deep breaths, smile, and ask: “Do you think we are happy? If not, why?”
- Contemplate together on suffering – its causes – and liberation with simple meditation: turn off the television, stop, and ask deep questions to see into the reality.
- Regularly use gentle words, listen with compassion to truly understand each other’s suffering and hidden aspirations; understanding and love go together so that love can endure.
Buddhism teaches that all afflictions, anger, and resentment also need “food” to exist and can be transformed into enlightenment if we know how to practice; our mind is organic like flowers and garbage, it can be “recycled,” transforming suffering into happiness. Beginning anew is a miracle when husband and wife sit together, practice listening – loving speech – and contemplation; with the support of the Three Jewels and the Sangha, love can be revived in a week or even less.