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Peace Treaty and Right Breathing in the Family
Vow to sign a “peaceful coexistence agreement” before the Three Jewels and the Sangha in order to nurture family happiness, because it helps each member know how to handle their anger, avoiding the breaking of hearts and relationships. The agreement requires a minimum foundation in the Dharma and experience of practice at Plum Village; when everyone respects and practices together, harmony in the family will be preserved.
A simple method for children called “the cake in the refrigerator” helps to transform heavy energy in the family:
- Take three deep breaths—inhaling in calm, exhaling with a gentle smile.
- When the mind is at peace, gently say: “Mom, it seems there’s a cake in the refrigerator.”
- Mother breathes along, prepares a drink; the child runs to get the cake, and together they go outside to drink and eat, “the heavy atmosphere dissolves.”
When the family is tense, every minute that ends anger sooner is a minute that lessens suffering. These breathing steps and a little mantra create a space of harmony, allowing parents and children to release tension together and cultivate collective happiness.