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Peaceful Coexistence Treaty

Thich Nhat Hanh · October 9, 1997 · United States
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The blood family, consisting of grandparents, parents, siblings, and children, is only the foundation; each person also needs a spiritual family—such as a temple or a practice community—where love is nourished. The ancestral altar is a point of connection with our roots: each morning, when we clean and tidy the altar, change the incense, and offer incense with both hands, we walk mindfully, gently, expressing the wholeness of body and mind and practicing mindfulness, helping body and mind to come together and dwell in the present moment. This tradition nourishes our loving-kindness and keeps us connected with our ancestors, preventing us from becoming “hungry ghosts” wandering through life.

Practicing the “peaceful living agreement” helps maintain harmony when anger arises:

  1. Dear one, I am angry with you, I am suffering and I want you to know it.
  2. I am doing my best to practice mindful breathing, walking meditation, and looking deeply.
  3. Please help me.

The aim is to acknowledge our feelings within 24 hours, using loving speech and deep listening as two wings to restore trust. Each week, every family should renew their relationships through repentance—voluntarily recognizing mistakes and making a vow not to repeat them—or by practicing the flower ceremony: the person holding the flower speaks, everyone else listens with a compassionate heart, helping to release the toxins of anger and nurture lasting happiness.

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