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Pháp Vân Temple - The Gratitude and Affection of Friends
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In love and relationships, understanding is fundamental; only when one truly understands the suffering and hidden aspirations of another can one truly love. The story of David choosing Thao because “she understands me, Mom” demonstrates the power of empathy over beauty or status. Similarly, the deep friendship between Wang Bo Ya and Zhong Zi Qi was born from their profound appreciation of music. The two most precious energies are wisdom (understanding) and compassion (loving); understanding leads to love, and one who has a true soulmate in life is truly fortunate.
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The Dharma talk mentions the four great gratitudes in Buddhism and proposes a fifth gratitude – gratitude to disciples – because when a disciple understands the teacher, the teacher receives an invaluable spiritual gift:
- gratitude to parents
- gratitude to teachers
- gratitude to friends
- gratitude to all beings
- gratitude to disciples
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The case of David Cath and his wife Nhung in Paris shows how marriage can become arid due to a lack of mindfulness and loving speech; for over nine years, they only watched TV instead of conversing. When Nhung rediscovered more than forty old letters – “Dharma talks” watering the seeds of love in the store consciousness – their hearts and words came alive again. Writing loving letters to each other reactivated the happiness dwelling deep within their minds, proving that the practice of Abhidharma and the Four Noble Truths is not only through study of the scriptures, but also through the practice of cherishing gratitude and planting wholesome seeds.