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Ringing the Bell of True Presence: Family Breathing and the Four Immeasurables
After inviting the bell to sound, breathe in and enjoy your in-breath, breathe out and enjoy your out-breath three times, then allow about ten extra seconds for everyone to complete their three in-breaths and three out-breaths. At home, set up a simple “breathing room” with a bell, cushions (one per family member plus one for a guest), and perhaps a single flower for freshness. Each morning before work or school and each night before sleep, sit together, invite the bell three times, and enjoy nine in-breaths and nine out-breaths. When tension arises in the family, go mindfully into that room, ring the bell, and breathe in and out together to calm and restore peace.
True love is first of all offering and recognizing presence:
- Two mantras to practice—“Darling, I’m here for you” (offering your presence) and “Darling, I know you are there, and I’m very happy” (recognizing their presence).
- Deep listening and loving speech to understand the other’s suffering before offering consolation.
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The four unlimited elements of love:
- Maitrī (loving-kindness),
- Karuṇā (compassion),
- Muditā (sympathetic joy),
- Upekṣā (equanimity, non-discrimination).
With mindful breathing and presence, each moment—whether ringing a classroom bell every fifteen minutes, proposing a bell in Congress, or walking slowly step by step—is an opportunity to live happily in the here and now and to cultivate understanding, compassion, and joy.
