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Summer Dharma Talk 96
Tu Uyen lived in deep loneliness because he did not know how to listen and did not receive expressions of love from his parents and siblings through gentle words—the communication between them was completely blocked. Graduating from university did not change his situation: he still interrupted others, scolded, failed to build friendships, and only turned to alcohol and drugs to temporarily forget his suffering, eventually falling into despair and intending to commit suicide until, thanks to a Dharma discussion about the “Fourth Mindfulness Training,” he stopped.
In Buddhism, two methods belonging to the Fourth Mindfulness Training are introduced to transform suffering and maintain true communication:
- deep listening—listening without prejudice like the Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara, opening both ears and heart to deeply understand
- loving speech—speaking with kindness, truthfulness, without reproach so that the listener feels at ease
Practicing the trainings, concentration, and insight (the five fragrances) and offering “the fragrance of the heart” every day helps nourish mindfulness, open the path of communication between ourselves and our loved ones, prevent despair, and build true happiness.