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Tending the Family Garden: Deep Listening and Loving Speech Across Generations
Today’s talk invites young adults and their parents to bridge the generation gap and cultural divide by cultivating mutual understanding, acceptance, and collective happiness within the family “garden.” Thầy likens family to fertile soil: when parents and children care for one another, individual and collective joy can flourish together rather than in conflict.
Key steps for restoring communication:
- Sit with your parents and inquire into their childhood suffering, aspirations, and cultural traditions (e.g. cải lương vọng cổ, hát bội).
- Speak with loving speech and practice deep listening—welcome even harsh words without blame.
- Write a “letter of the heart” (first in English, then Vietnamese) expressing compassion, gratitude for their sacrifices, and a sincere wish to share your own difficulties and dreams.
Thầy shares a real example: a monk’s one heartfelt letter led his Communist-party father to reply with a 15-page loving response, transforming their relationship. Over three weeks in Plum Village, mastering loving speech and deep listening becomes the key “instrument” you take home to heal family bonds, whether across religions (Buddhism, Christianity) or cultures (Vietnamese, American).
