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The Fourth Mantra: Transforming Suffering into Love
Breathing in and breathing out is the truth; all that can be seen and felt is real. The Fourth Mantra, Darling, I suffer so much. You are the person I love the most in the world. Please help me, is a vital practice for overcoming pride when hurt by a loved one. The story of Mr. Truong illustrates how wrong perception and the refusal to ask for help can destroy happiness. A young father, misled by his son’s description of a shadow father, allows his heart to become a block of stone, leading to his wife’s suicide. This tragedy serves as a reminder to always question our perceptions by asking, Are you sure? and to maintain a family ancestral altar to stay rooted and healthy.
Suffering is a holy truth when it is used to gain insight into how it has come to be. While the image of Jesus on the cross teaches us about bearing injustice, there is a great need for refreshing images of Jesus practicing walking meditation or sitting in peace to provide stability for young people. Without transforming our internal violence, we continue the wheel of saṃsāra, transmitting our wounds to our children. By visualizing ourselves and our parents as vulnerable five-year-old children, we generate the nectar of compassion that allows for reconciliation and the end of blaming. In the Christian Gospel, we read: “Father, forgive them, because they don’t know what they are doing.”
True love is an art that must be improved through the practice of looking deeply. It consists of the four immeasurable minds or brahmavihāra:
- Maitrī (Loving Kindness): the capacity to offer happiness and freshness by understanding the real needs of another.
- Karuṇā (Compassion): the capacity to remove and transform pain through deep listening and loving speech.
- Muditā (Joy): love that brings happiness and avoids possessiveness or narrow ideas.
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Upekṣā (Equanimity): love that offers freedom and space, like the moon sailing through the sky without discrimination.
When love contains these elements, it becomes a liberating force that transforms our lives and the lives of those around us.
Part of the following collection
Turning Māra into Buddha: Stopping to Transform Suffering