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The Nature of Love
The quality of the retreat lies in mindfulness, which is the awareness in daily life to heal the soul, not just to study the teachings. When hearing the bell, practice breathing in and out three times and recite: “Listen, listen. This wonderful sound brings me back to my true home.” When meeting each other, join our palms like a lotus bud to bow reverently in order to see the other person as a wonderful reality: “A lotus for you, a Buddha to be.” Awareness helps us look at our loved ones and all things as brand new, in the spirit of nhất hồi niêm xuất, nhất hồi tân (each time it arises, it is new again) of Tran Thai Tong.
At the age of 39, the Buddha was criticized for saying that love brings worry, sorrow, and despair. When King Pasenadi questioned the enlightenment of a young person, the Buddha taught that there are four small things that should not be underestimated:
- A newborn prince.
- A spark of fire.
- A poisonous snake as small as a chopstick.
- A young monk.
True love must have the substance of Maitri (loving-kindness – wanting the other person to be happy unconditionally) and Karuna (compassion – wanting to remove the suffering from the other person). Love is understanding each other’s suffering and aspirations; it is not possessiveness or locking the beloved in a tin can, but respecting their horizon of freedom like the clouds and the wind. We need to hold hands and ask if our love is making the other person wither and if we truly understand their suffering yet. To resolve conflict, we need to let go of attachment to views, like the story of the father holding the bag of ashes, and use loving speech to dialogue.
