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Transforming Anger
Anger is a source of energy that helps us react, refuse what is unreasonable, and struggle for justice, but that power is “blind” and can be exploited to incite violence. In Buddhism, anger is only one of the 51 mental formations, yet it always goes hand in hand with love and can be transformed into one another. Instead of eliminating anger, we learn how to keep it and transform it into love, and then when love has transformed anger, we transform anger back into love. The principle of non-duality—“afflictions are themselves enlightenment”—reminds us that all phenomena are neither two nor completely separate.
To recognize and dissolve the internal formations—the knots of suffering accumulated in our store consciousness—we need to practice mindfulness, embracing our anger with gentleness and using our breath as green compost to nourish the flower of love. In family relationships, the method of “family council” encourages each member to:
- listen without judgment, without responding immediately
- express all sincere feelings, whether sadness, anger, or happiness
-
end the sharing with a simple ritual (bowing, returning the bow)
so that small internal formations can be released before they erupt into deep wounds. Revenge only piles up suffering, while quietly returning to our breath and taking care of our anger is the path to rebuild the bridge of love and peace.