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True Joy
Muditā, joy – true joy, is the third element of the immeasurable minds, alongside Maitrī (loving-kindness) and Karuṇā (compassion – loving-kindness illuminated by wisdom). True love must bring happiness, not cause suffering to the one who is loved or to oneself. Therefore, we need to always ask ourselves and those we love:
- Are you suffering because of the way I love you?
- Are you suffering because of the way I love you?
as a mindfulness practice in eating, thinking, and feeling.
Joy is the capacity to bring happiness to others, to help them get out of sadness by recognizing and watering the “seeds of happiness” hidden deep in their consciousness. To do this, the one who loves needs to:
- Carry within themselves enough Karuṇā to deeply understand and illuminate the suffering of the other, like a psychologist using wisdom as a precious medicine.
- Listen deeply, begin regular dialogues, and open the door of communication between hearts, even if there has been hurt.
- Practice sympathetic joy – rejoicing in the happiness of others without jealousy or selfishness.
- Combine mindfulness and insight (such as practicing the Five Mindfulness Trainings) to distinguish true joy from fleeting excitement.
Only when loving-kindness, compassion, and joy are practiced with mindfulness does love truly become l’amour véritable, helping body and mind always dwell in peace and happiness.