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Tu Uyen and Giang Kieu
The young student Tu Uyen lived in great poverty and loneliness, surviving only on instant noodles and without a true friend. One day, he visited a temple and happened to catch a glimpse of the pure and gentle face of the young woman Giang Kieu from a group of people practicing walking meditation. From that moment, he hung her picture in his room, and at every meal, he would set out two bowls, inviting her to join him in eating instant noodles. Then, through small gestures—a gentle smile, radiant eyes—she stepped out of the picture to cook him a steaming bowl of noodle soup, and they married when he asked for her hand. But because he lacked diligence in practice, was quick-tempered, drank alcohol, and spoke harshly, Giang Kieu gradually became sad and eventually left. Tu Uyen suffered both before and after meeting her, because he did not understand how to take care of happiness.
The Buddha teaches that when someone “steps out of the picture,” whether it is a parent, sibling, friend, or spiritual brother or sister, we need to live with mindfulness in order to “water the positive seeds” (love, forgiveness, patience) and prevent the negative seeds (anger, suspicion, craving) from sprouting. Before entering into a marriage, we should practice sitting meditation, walking meditation, and eating in silence to look deeply into ourselves—recognizing both our shortcomings and our good qualities—in order to avoid “harming ourselves” and the one we love. Living with a mindful community, maintaining our relationships with mindful breathing, mindful steps, and mindful speech, only then can we join hands to build and sustain true and lasting happiness.