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Wave Already Water: Aimlessness, Interbeing, and the Four Elements of True Love
The question of life’s purpose is based on the notion of a separate self, but nothing can be by itself alone; everything must inter-be. A sunflower cannot exist without non-flower elements like sunshine, clouds, and water; similarly, the sun is a second heart outside the body. Time and space are not separate entities, just as an electron can be here and there simultaneously. The teaching of apranihita, or aimlessness, reveals that we are already what we want to become. Nirvana is not something to run after but is our true nature, just as a wave is already water and does not need to die to become water. There is no attainment because everything is already done.
Ancestors are not abstract ideas but are present in every cell of the body, containing all their wisdom and suffering. The body and consciousness are one reality, namarupa, much like a “wavicle” in physics is both a wave and a particle. Recognizing a deceased loved one requires the insight of impermanence and interbeing; they are not lost but continue in different forms. To find happiness, one must remove notions, including the idea of happiness itself. Regarding sexuality, the focus is on handling and channeling energy rather than suppression. Silence is not just the absence of noise but the silencing of thinking, allowing one to touch life deeply. Even noise, like helicopters or snoring, can be used as a bell of mindfulness.
True love has the capacity to transform and heal, accepting the unlovable through understanding their suffering. The Buddha teaches that true love consists of four elements:
- Maitri: loving kindness, the willingness and capacity to offer joy.
- Karuna: compassion, the energy that removes pain.
- Joy: the presence of happiness for both the lover and the beloved.
- Upeksha: equanimity, non-discrimination, and freedom.
In true love, the distinction between the lover and the loved one disappears, just as the right hand takes care of the left hand without discrimination, or a grain of salt becomes one with the ocean to understand its salinity. To understand is to become one with the object of perception.