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What to Do When You Have Already Fallen in Love

Thich Nhat Hanh · April 19, 2003 · Plum Village, France · Audio Only
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Observing the Five Mindfulness Trainings is not a ritual, but a practice that ensures freedom, ease, peace, and happiness. The Five Trainings help protect our freedom from being caught in painful situations such as the cycle of addiction, stealing, lying, sexual misconduct, and so on. Without practice, there is no stability. Seven years ago at The State of the World Forum, the only topic presented was the Five Mindfulness Trainings—if global citizens practice them, they will protect people, nature, the Earth, and help rebuild broken families. With the Three Refuges—Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha—and the Five Trainings, happiness can be lived right in the present moment (dwelling happily in the present moment).

True love must contain all four elements—loving kindness (offering happiness), compassion (sharing and relieving suffering), joy (bringing joy to both), and inclusiveness (keeping freedom for each other, not possessing or discriminating). Relationships based only on sexual desire, making promises and then betraying them, comparing, violence, and delusion about each other’s value are all sources of suffering that come from not keeping the Five Trainings. To be free from suffering, there are two paths: either diligently practice the Five Trainings, relying on the Sangha to help and transform the other person; or, if you have enough will and determination, decisively cut off the relationship. True love can only be lasting when both sides deeply understand, respect, and recognize each other’s value.

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