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Yunmen Retreat (Chùa đại giác) Talk for Nuns
People in the world care very much about three things:
- Health
- Relationship
- Success
While worldly success is defined as wealth, fame, power, and sex, monastic success is transforming suffering, cultivating understanding and compassion, and becoming a teacher who helps others do the same. Leaving family is not to seek high positions or become an abbot, but to help people in society suffer less. A good Dharma talk is not a repetition of classroom learning, but the flower and fruit of one’s own practice. Transforming suffering leads to success in relationships and health. Monastics must live together as a family, cultivating daily brotherhood and sisterhood, which naturally improves physical health.
To resolve difficulties with others, two key practices are used:
- Deep listening or compassionate listening: Listening to another’s suffering without reacting, arguing, or answering, even if their speech is bitter or full of wrong perceptions. This is modeled after Bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara. Mindful breathing and walking keep compassion alive, which is the antidote to irritation and anger.
- Loving speech: Using gentle language to acknowledge the other’s suffering, apologize for past mistakes, and invite them to share their heart. Correcting wrong perceptions should be done much later, spoon by spoon like medicine.
Like an orange tree producing blossoms and fruit, monastics must produce the flowers of understanding and compassion daily. The practice involves bringing joy to someone in the morning and helping someone suffer less in the afternoon, reflecting on this in a diary before sleep. To prevent the common monastic challenge of exclusive attachment or division, the practice of equanimity must be cultivated alongside loving kindness and compassion.