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how to handle our anger
The practice begins with the Four Recollections:
- Recollection of the Buddha: the teacher who has gone over in a wonderful way and understands the world deeply.
- Recollection of the Dharma: the teachings experienced in the present moment that extinguish afflictions.
- Recollection of the Sangha: the community of four pairs and eight realizations that follows an upright path.
- Recollection of the Precepts: the mindfulness trainings that protect freedom and lead to insight.
Anger and irritation are energies that can dominate us, but we can train ourselves to create a new habit energy by returning to mindful breathing and walking. A mini peace treaty can be signed with others as a mutual promise to practice during difficult moments. Specific instruments help maintain this awareness: a pebble to represent freshness and solidity, a mirror to observe one’s expression and restore a smile, and a credit card reminding us of the capacity for being peace. This inner treasure of Buddha nature is a store of credits that cannot go bankrupt. By looking with the eyes of loving kindness, the energy of anger is transformed into compassion. Understanding and compassion are the antidotes that neutralize frustration, turning garbage into flowers.
Restoring communication is essential for healing relationships, achieved through compassionate listening. By emptying ourselves of prejudices and becoming space, we allow others to express their suffering. The sole purpose of this deep listening is to help the other person suffer less. This practice involves the four unlimited elements: loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity. Even if speech contains wrong perceptions, maintaining the energy of compassion through mindful breathing allows for transformation and relief for both parties. As the Buddha said, “I am the physician who heals myself and others.”