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Establishing Communication - Creating Happiness
We cannot buy peace in our body and mind, nor love in our family; we must cultivate them ourselves by restoring communication and learning the practice of mindfulness. The third exercise in the Anapanasati Sutra is “breathing in and being aware of the body” to recognize accumulated tension and pain; the fourth exercise is “breathing in and releasing tension,” which helps to calm the body; the seventh and eighth exercises focus on the mind, breathing in to call by name and embrace our suffering (such as jealousy, anger, loneliness), thereby soothing our pain with the energy of mindfulness.
To reconcile and bring happiness to the family, we need to practice two methods taught by the Buddha Shakyamuni:
- Loving speech – gentle, loving words when conversing, allowing each member to recognize and share their suffering and pain.
- Deep listening – spending 10–15 minutes to look deeply into the suffering of the other person, helping compassion to arise and restoring communication.
A simple practice is inviting the bell before breathing nine breaths (or three breaths, six to seven seconds each time), considering it an invitation to return to ourselves. Each member, including the youngest child, has the right to invite the bell when the atmosphere in the family is tense; the sound of the bell helps body and mind to calm, reconnecting with mindfulness and happiness right in the present moment.