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Handling Strong Emotions
Listening Deeply to Ourselves and Others
Thầy begins this talk by making us aware that mindfulness allows us to embrace and transform difficult emotions, even anger. He describes the process of writing a “peace note” to the person we feel angry at, being careful to use loving speech in the message and acknowledging our responsibility for our feelings of anger.
After the peace note is delivered, we make an appointment to engage in compassionate listening and loving speech with the person toward whom we feel anger. Before the appointment, we practice to assure we’ll be mindful and serene when meeting with this person. If communication has broken down between ourselves and another person, loving speech and deep listening can create a reconciliation even after years of anger and resentment.
We should practice during the times that we aren’t in pain. Thầy shares a lullaby to pain and sorrow that he wrote to put these emotions to sleep. We live in constant fear that our pain will emerge. To prevent this, we erect blockades to occupy our mind consciousness and distract ourselves, but often these distractions water negative seeds in our store consciousness and increase our pain. For this reason, we must practice mindful consumption with everything we bring into our mind and body.
Every time pain or anger manifests in us, mindfulness must also manifest to take care of that pain or anger. This is why we practice—so our mindfulness arises immediately in all situations. A strong energy of mindfulness is essential to be a good therapist.
The practice of śamatha means to stop, embrace, calm, and concentrate, while vipaśyanā means to look deeply to gain insight and relief from suffering. We initially practice śamatha, which naturally leads to vipaśyanā.
The Five Awarenesses designate our five greatest fears, and the Buddha taught us how to embrace these fears. The last of these Five Awarenesses is that the only thing we take with us when we leave this life is our karma.
Thầy ends this talk by offering a commentary on verses thirteen, fourteen, and fifteen of The Fifty Verses on Manifestation Only, speaking about interpenetration and interbeing as described in the Avataṃsaka Sūtra. He elucidates how store consciousness (ālaya-vijñāna) ultimately transcends dualistic pairs of opposites—showing that everything interpenetrates everything else, the “same” is made of the “different,” and when delusion is transformed, it becomes the Great Mirror Wisdom.
This is the sixth talk in a series of eight given during the Opening the Door to Healing & Transformation retreat, on the teachings of Buddhist psychology, in the year 1997. Thầy offered this talk in Key West, Florida, in the United States.
These teachings later appear in the book Understanding Our Mind