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Nourishing Love Together

Thich Nhat Hanh · July 23, 2002 · Plum Village, France
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Love is a living being that needs to be cared for and nourished every day; when it is unwell, mindfulness is the “medicine” for healing. Parents and loved ones must be like gardeners: recognizing wholesome seeds—intelligence, freshness, self-sacrifice, courage—and watering them with words of praise, acts of care, and avoiding “unwholesome programs” or alcohol that can sow seeds of fear and hatred.

Caring for love requires the harmonious cooperation of the three karmas and a clear understanding of the five skandhas that make up a human being, so that we may first love ourselves and then truly love others:

  • The three karmas:
    1. Right thinking (understanding, recognizing positive seeds—wrong thinking sows suffering)
    2. Right speech (loving speech that nurtures wholesome values)
    3. Right action (acts of care and protection)
  • The five skandhas: form, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, consciousness—contemplating to understand clearly our feelings, perceptions, and habits

True love is also the sharing of responsibility to transform negative seeds in our loved ones, standing by their side as a companion, not judging but practicing mindfulness together. Parents, before starting a family, should practice for at least one year to obtain a “certificate of happiness,” establishing a foundation of peace for the family, and at the same time building a sangha—a wholesome environment—as a refuge for young people to stay away from violence, drugs, and hatred, and to continue nurturing enduring love.

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