There was a young man who was drafted into the army. His name is Trương. He was about twenty-eight. His wife was pregnant. And then they cried a lot when he had to go. But finally he was able to be released from the army, he went home. So Mrs. Trương was so excited, her husband survived the war. And he's going to come home tomorrow. So she went to the gate of the village with her little boy that was born during the time he was absent. And when they saw each other, they cried so much in the arms of each other. How wonderful to survive and to go home and to be reunified with your family. And according to our tradition, you have to announce the good news to your ancestors. Because in my country, every home has an ancestral altar. If you are going to marry your daughter, you have to announce that news to your ancestors before you do so. If you are to send your boy to college, you have to announce that to your ancestors because they have the right to know.

And that is why we burn a stick of incense every morning and we report to our ancestors everything. This is a practice called ancestor worship. No matter how poor you are, you should set up an ancestral altar in your home so that you can get in touch with your ancestors always, always rooted in your tradition, in your ancestors. That's part of the culture of our country. So the lady was told by her husband to go to the marketplace and do some shopping so that they will prepare an offering to be placed on the altar to announce the good news of the return of the son. In the meantime, Mr. Trương tried to persuade a little boy to call him daddy, "Call me daddy." The little boy said, "No, no, sir, you are not my daddy. My daddy used to come every night. My mother used to talk with him a lot every night. She cried a lot to talk to him a lot. And every time my mother sat down, he sat down, every time my mother lay down, he lay down also."

So when the young husband learned about that, all his happiness evaporated. He believed that there was someone who had intruded in his family and he suffered so much he became something like a block of ice. When the lady came home joyfully, he found her husband very cold, very remote. He did not look at her anymore, he did not answer her questions anymore. She suffered, she did not know what happened. And both of them suffered very much. And they did not know why and how. They were punishing each other by withdrawing into themselves. After the offering had been prepared and placed on the altar, the man light incenses and pray. And after that he rolled up the mat and he did not allow his wife to pay respect to the ancestors. He thought that his wife had committed adultery, not qualified to present herself before the altar of ancestors. And his wife was humiliated. And after the ceremony, instead of sitting down and enjoying the meal of the reunion, he left the house and spent the rest at the liquor shop. His suffering was so huge, he wanted to drown his suffering in alcohol and did not come home until two in the morning and slept until ten in the morning and left again for the liquor shop. And his wife could not bear it anymore. That afternoon, she jumped into the river and got drowned, committed suicide.

When the young father learned about the death of his wife, he came home and took care of the little boy. Night was falling and he was searching for the kerosene lamp. And when he lit up the lamp, suddenly the little boy said, "Mister, he is my father. He is my daddy." So he pointed the shadow of his father on the wall, "You know, this is my daddy. He used to come every night. And my mother used to talk to him a lot. And she cried a lot. And every time my mother sat down, he sat down." That is the end of the wrong perception. There was no one intruding into the house, just the shadow of the boy's mother. What really happened is that one day the boy went home very dirty and he said, "Mommy, everyone in the village has a daddy. Why don't I have one?" It's a little bit too complicated for the mother to explain what is the army, what is the military service so she just pointed to her shadow and said, Well, here is your daddy. Say hello to him. Hello, daddy." And of course, she used to talk a lot to her own shadow, she was so lonely: "My dear husband, you have been gone too long. How could I be alone raising our child?" And she cried. And of course when she sits down, her shadow will sit down also.

Right understanding is now available, but it's too late, Mrs. Trương is dead. If he had come to his wife, "Darling, how could you have done such a thing to me during my absence? Because the boy said that a man is to come every night. How could you have done such a thing to me? I suffer so much. Please explain. I need your help. I love you so. You don't have the right to betray me like that." You have to go to her and ask. But you are full of pride, you suffer so much. You prefer to suffer by yourself alone. That is why you have spoiled everything. And the lady committed the same kind of mistake. She suffered so much, but she did not come to him and ask, "My dear husband, I suffered so much. Why? Do you treat me like that? Since the time I came home from the market, you did not look at me. You don't look at me. You don't answer any question of mine. Have I done something horrible to be deserved that kind of treatment? Please help. Please tell me why you behave like that." That is communication. Without communication, everything will be ruined. And if the lady had done that, the husband will tell her why he behaved like that. "You ask me why? The child said that every day someone came and you talk to him, you cry with him. Every time you sit down, he sits down. Every time you lie down, you lie down. That's why I suffer. That's why I did not want to look at you. That is why I didn't want to answer your question." And if there was communication like that, Mr. Thương would have had a chance to explain. And there's no death.

That is why between you and your beloved one, there should be communication so that you can make sure that your perception is not wrong. And if you act on the base of wrong perception, you'll ruin yourself, you'll ruin her, ruin him because both of you have the capacity to punish. And the more you punish each other, the more you suffer. That is why both of you need a peace treaty. And next time when you suffer, "Darling, next time I suffer, and if I think that my suffering has been created to you, I will go to you and ask why you have done such a thing. I will not keep my suffering alone. I will not try to punish you even by my silence or my remoteness." Because you can punish by your being remote, by being cold, by your silence. This is also a retaliation, a punishment: "Next time, darling, if I suffer and if I think that you are the cause of my suffering, I will not try to retaliate, to punish. I will go to you and ask you why you have done such a thing to me, why you have said such a thing to me. So that we will not be victims like Mr. Trương and his wife."

This is part of the peace treaty. And if you succeed in that peace treaty, you have peace and happiness among you and your beloved one, whether that is your son, your daughter, or your partner. And if you succeed, you have a chance to sign a people peace treaty with the other group. You don't need to be two governments. You need to be a group of Israelis, you need to be a group of Palestinians who are wholly devoted to the cause of peace. And many people will support you, even some of the politicians. You can sit together and draw up a people peace treaty. That will have a high education value for the whole country, for the two governments, and for the people in the world. And you know that many of us will come to your peace conference to learn about your people peace treaty. Don't just sit there and wait for your government. You have to do something, you have to be something: be peace, be reconciliation. And you act from here, from now.

If you succeed in drawing up a peace treaty between you and your son, or your daughter, or your partner, and you can live according to the peace treaty, peace is a reality. And if you can do it as a group, then you shall have an enormous power, you can move the heart of so many people, you can open the heart of so many people. And you can come together in a peace conference, a people peace conference, and draw up a people peace treaty. And you have our support, the support of so many people who are very concerned, who want you, excited to have your own country, your own home, and to live peacefully with each other.