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Everyday Family Relationships and Renewal
What Is The Best Way To Support My Teenage Son Through Our Shared Anxiety?
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Questions and Answers
Questions and Answers
Thich Nhat Hanh
· August 25, 2006
· Upper Hamlet, Plum Village, France
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01:04:44
She
has
a
son,
thirteen
years
old.
And
she
has
a
lot
of
anguish,
worries
about
him.
And
he
also
has
a
lot
of
worries,
anguish.
It
is
difficult
for
her
and
for
her
son
at
the
same
time.
How
should
she
practice?
Communication
is
the
answer.
If
there
is
no
communication
between
the
cells
in
our
body,
we
will
suffer.
If
there
is
no
communication
between
us
and
our
children,
we
will
suffer.
So
how
to
restore
communication?
First
of
all,
you
have
to
recognize
the
other
person
as
having
his
or
her
own
body,
feelings,
perceptions,
mental
formations,
consciousness.
Although
there
is
a
strong
connection,
although
that
person
is
our
continuation,
although
that
person
is
a
part
of
us,
but
we
have
to
respect
him
or
her,
like
we
respect
our
hand,
our
feet.
If
you
don't
understand
our
hand,
our
feet,
we
will
make
our
hand,
our
feet
suffer.
So
if
we
don't
understand
our
son
or
daughter,
we
will
make
them
suffer
the
same.
So
there
must
be
good
communication.
And
maybe
both
of
you
have
to
be
aware
of
the
fact
that
both
suffer,
and
not
just
one
person
suffers.
And
practice
looking
deeply
in
order
to
see
where
are
the
roots
of
that
suffering.
Maybe
the
mother
is
a
little
bit
overprotective,
over-possessive,
and
things
like
that
prevent
communication.
And
therefore
there
is
a
misunderstanding
between
both.
Your
son
may
think
that
he
is
already
big
enough
in
order
to
take
care
of
himself,
and
you
may
still
think
of
him
as
a
baby.
And
that
is
a
tendency
of
mothers.
I
have
children,
many
children.
Sometimes
I
feel
like
that
also.
They
practice
with
me
twenty
years
already,
they
have
become
a
Dharma
teacher,
but
sometimes
I
feel
like
they
are
still
my
babies.
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