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Why do people get so angry sometimes when they don't even mean to get angry?
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Questions and Answers: The Art of Suffering
Questions and Answers: The Art of Suffering
Thich Nhat Hanh
· August 29, 2013
· Blue Cliff Monastery, United States
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The title, description and transcript have been reviewed for accuracy.
In this session of questions and answers the following questions were asked:
By the children:
- Why do people get so angry sometimes when they don’t even mean to get angry?
- Why do people have to suffer?
- What do you have to do to have a calm mind?
By the teens and young adults:
- If you had a chance to live your life again, would you choose the same path or a new life?
- How can I practice non-attachment to my sister who is living in Blue Cliff Monastery?
- What made you decide to become a monk?
- What is the hardest thing to practice?
- How can you detach from your strongest attachment in life?
- Is it possible to do something fast mindfully, like a sport?
By the adults:
- What could have prevented the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School, and what changes can help prevent such suffering in the future?
- After losing my nineteen-year-old daughter to leukemia, is it possible to truly be happy again?
- What would you advise the president regarding military intervention in Syria, and how can we deal with our despair?
- How can we engage young men in post-conflict zones to turn away from violence and embrace peace?
- How do we practice joyfully with physical limitations and pain as we grow older?
- How can we use the energy of mindfulness to forgive ourselves for trusting someone who hurt us?
- How do we practice transforming inherited seeds of depression and mental illness?
This session of Questions and Answers was organised during the Art of Suffering retreat in the year 2013. Thầy offered this talk at Blue Cliff Monastery, Pine Bush, New York, in the United States.
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00:03:21
Why
do
people
get
so
angry
sometimes
when
they
don't
even
mean
to
get
angry?
Very
angry
sometimes.
Why
do
people
get
so
angry
and
why
do
their
hearts
get
so
filled
up
with
anger
when
they
don't
even
mean
to
get
that
angry?
00:04:14
Monastic
Dear
Thầy,
our
friend
is
asking:
why
do
people
get
so
angry
and
their
hearts
so
filled
up
with
anger
when
it's
not
what
they
really
mean
to
do?
That
is
a
good
question.
There
is
a
grain,
a
seed
of
anger
in
ourselves.
And
there
is
also
a
seed
of
love,
compassion
in
ourselves.
And
a
person
who
allows
the
seed
of
anger
to
be
watered
every
day
gets
angry
much
more
easily
than
the
person
who
doesn't
allow
the
seed
of
anger
in
him
or
her
to
be
watered.
If
you
watch
television,
and
if
you
see
a
lot
of
anger
in
television,
and
then
you
help
the
seed
of
anger
in
you
to
grow,
grow,
grow
every
day.
And
if
the
seed
of
anger
in
you
is
strong,
and
then
you
get
angry
so
easily.
And
anger
does
not
exactly
come
from
the
outside,
it
is
from
inside.
So
we
should
be
careful
when
we
watch
television
and
play
electronic
games
or
having
a
conversation
with
other
people.
Don't
allow
these
things
to
water
the
seed
of
anger
in
us.
Because
if
the
seed
of
anger
in
us
grows
big,
then
we
can
get
angry
very
easily.
And
when
we
get
angry,
we
suffer
and
we
will
make
the
other
person
suffer.
And
there
is
a
seed
of
compassion,
a
seed
of
love
in
you.
And
if
you
read
books,
listen
to
Dharma
talks,
listen
to
conversations
that
have
a
lot
of
love
and
compassion,
then
the
seed
of
love
in
you
will
grow.
And
if
you
have
a
lot
of
love
in
you,
you
are
a
happy
person.
And
you
never
get
angry.
So
you
have
to
take
care
of
the
two
seeds
in
us,
anger
and
love.
And
meditation
can
help
you
a
lot.
And
when
you
have
more
compassion
in
yourself,
you
are
happy.
And
even
when
there
is
a
provocation,
you
can
smile.
You
can
smile.
In
the
beginning,
we
can
smile
to
our
anger.
And
when
we
succeed
in
smiling
to
our
anger,
we
will
be
able
to
smile
to
the
anger
and
violence
of
the
other
person.
The
other
person
is
very
angry.
The
other
person
is
very
violent.
And
she
is
saying
something
very
strong,
very
mean.
And
she
is
about
to
hit
you.
And
yet,
because
you
are
protected
by
the
energy
of
love
and
compassion,
you
don't
get
angry
and
you
smile
to
him.
"Dear
friend,
I
know
you
suffer.
You
don't
have
to
suffer
like
that."
And
that
is
a
success,
that
is
a
victory
for
you
and
for
the
other
person.
And
that
victory
a
practitioner
of
meditation
can
have
every
day.
Okay.
Thank
you
for
asking
that
question.
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