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Questions and Answers
Questions and Answers
Thich Nhat Hanh
· July 15, 2002
· Plum Village, France
Questions & Answers, No description yet, ‘suggest edit’ to add one.
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Separated for months, my partner and I face strong desire, attachment, fear and confusion—how can we transform these and walk together in freedom?
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Separated for months, my partner and I face strong desire, attachment, fear and confusion—how can we transform these and walk together in freedom?
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Dear
Thay,
I
find
I
have
a
difficulty
that
I
have
become
aware
of
recently.
It
is
very
natural
and
easy
for
me
to
feel
compassion
and
understanding
and
forgiveness
for
others.
But
I
have
become
aware
that
I
reserve
my
harshest
judgment
and
criticism
for
myself.
And
I
think
this
has
always
been
the
way.
If
a
friend
came
to
me
with
the
same
thing
I
would
feel
immense
compassion
for
her
or
for
him
but
I
can't
seem
to
do
it
for
me.
I
would
like
to
learn
how
to
love
myself.
There
is
in
us
the
element,
the
mental
formation,
who
is
capable
of
accepting
ourselves
as
we
are
and
not
to
judge.
And
that
exists
within
ourselves.
The
seed
of
understanding,
the
seed
of
compassion,
the
seed
of
non-judgement
is
there
in
us.
There
is
also
the
other
seed,
the
seed
of
judgement,
that
they
would
like
to
operate
and
that
is
why
we
have
to
coordinate.
We
are
this
seed,
but
we
are
also
the
other
kind
of
seed.
We
are
the
seed
of
joy.
We
are
also
the
seed
of
sorrow.
We
have
the
seed
of
the
complex
of
inferiority.
We
also
have
the
seed
of
complex
of
superiority.
We
have
the
seed
of
equanimity
also
in
us.
So
there
are
many,
many
elements
in
us
that
seem
to
be
contradicting
each
other,
that
they
share
the
same
house,
the
same
reality,
that
our
person.
So
the
practice
we
conduct
is
to
recognize
each
seed
as
it
is
and
accept
it.
The
seed
of
mindfulness,
the
seed
of
concentration,
the
seed
of
insight,
the
seed
of
faith,
the
seed
of
diligence
are
also
in
us.
If
we
practice
so
that
these
five
kinds
of
seeds
can
be
watered
every
day
and
grow
up,
they
will
become
very
helpful
for
other
seeds.
Mindfulness
helps
us
to
become
aware
of
the
situation.
You
have
to
become
aware
of
the
situation
inside
of
you
and
around
you.
Like
I'm
aware
of
the
tendency
to
blame
myself,
to
judge
myself.
Mindfulness
knows
that.
I
am
aware
of
that
seed
in
myself.
But
mindfulness
also
is
capable
of
being
aware
of
the
other
kind
of
seeds.
There
is
a
seed
of
compassion,
of
acceptance
in
me,
and
I
should
be
aware
of
that.
And
it
is
possible
for
me
to
water
that
seed
in
order
to
create
a
balance.
And
the
seed
of
mindfulness
brings
about
the
energy
of
concentration
that
makes
it
possible,
that
makes
it
easier
for
you
to
recognize
and
to
concentrate
on
other
seeds
that
are
more
positive.
And
the
seed
of
concentration
brings
about
the
fruit
of
understanding.
It
helps
us
to
see
very
clearly
that
we
are
a
product
of
many
conditions.
If
I
am
like
this,
these
conditions
have
been
like
that.
So
if
I
perceive
reality
like
that,
I
stop
blaming.
It's
like
a
youngster
who
joined
a
gang
who
did
a
lot
of
violence
and
got
into
a
prison.
When
I
look
at
that
young
person
very
deeply
with
concentration,
you
realize
that
there
are
so
many
conditions
have
led
the
youngster
to
become
like
he
is
now.
And
if
you
are
put
in
the
same
conditions,
you
will
be
like
him.
So
that
kind
of
understanding,
prajñā
helps
us
to
accept
him
as
he
is
and
begin
to
help
him.
Not
to
hate,
but
to
try
our
best
in
order
to
change.
Change
not
only
in
him
but
around
him
because
the
environment
continues
to
fabricate
youngsters
like
him.
So
that
kind
of
process
of
practice,
mindfulness,
concentration
and
insight
help
you
to
see
what
to
do
in
order
to
improve
the
environment
and
change
the
victims
of
the
environment.
If
I
judge
myself
so
hard,
it
will
cause
conditions
like
that,
because
I
did
not
have
enough
understanding
of
the
principle
of
interbeing.
But
if
I
know
that
conditions
like
education,
society
has
brought
me
to
this
situation,
I
would
stop
blaming
myself
and
I
would
accept
myself
as
I
am.
And
with
that
kind
of
intelligence
I
know
how
to
rearrange
so
that
there
is
a
transformation
within
myself
and
around
me.
This
is
applied
to
every
situation.
In
other
words,
if
we
touch
the
reality
of
non-self,
if
we
know
that
the
teaching
of
Buddha
is
that
this
is
like
that,
that
is
like
that,
this
is
like
this,
touching
the
nature
of
dependent
arising,
we
will
stop
all
our
blaming,
we
are
able
to
accept
things
as
they
are,
and
we
will
move
ahead
from
there
with
a
lot
of
peace,
we
will
get
a
lot
of
joy.
In
us,
maybe
sometimes
there
is
a
desire
to
live
very
long,
in
order
to
witness
to
what
is
happening,
and
to
help
many
people,
many
living
beings.
But
sometimes
there
is
the
idea
that
to
die
is
a
very
nice
thing,
because
that
is
very
restful.
So
there
are
all
kinds
of
tendencies
within
us.
Sometimes
we
want
this,
sometimes
we
want
that,
We
are
a
kind
of
television
that
has
a
lot
of
channels
inside.
And
we
should
not
allow
just
one
channel
to
manifest
and
to
overwhelm
us.
When
we
develop
our
five
faculties,
faith
in
the
practice,
diligence,
mindfulness,
concentration
and
insight,
we
are
able
to
help
all
the
other
mental
formations
including
compassion,
understanding,
non-discrimination
[inaudible.]
and
we
can
help
the
seed
of
discrimination,
despair,
hatred
to
transform.
That
is
why
the
daily
practice
is
to
have
the
five
powers,
the
five
kind
of
energies
I
just
mentioned,
to
grow.
And
we
will
bring
everyone
along,
because
in
us
there
is
not
one
person.
We
are
a
community.
Speaking
of
interbeing,
there
is
no
self,
no
both
in
us.
looking
deeply
into
our
consciousness,
we
see
at
least
fifty-one
mental
formations
operating
together.
And
sometimes
doubt
takes
the
lead,
sometimes
faith
takes
the
lead,
sometimes
anger
takes
the
lead,
sometimes
compassion
takes
the
lead.
And
that
is
why
mindfulness
helps
us
to
be
aware
of
that.
Concentration
and
insight
help
us
to
coordinate
so
that
all
of
them
will
be
able
to
go
in
the
direction
of
goodness,
of
peace,
of
joy.
Before
we
can
change,
we
can
improve,
we
have
to
accept
the
situation
as
it
is.
And
accepting
after
having
accepted,
we
have
a
lot
of
peace.
There
is
no
longer
any
conflict.
When
you
go
home
after
a
long
stay,
you
may
find
your
house
in
disorder.
And
you
know
that
you
don't
like
that
situation,
but
you
have
to
accept
your
house
as
it
is
and
begin
to
to
rearrange
things.
And
you
don't
have
any
problem
and
you
may
have
a
lot
of
joy
arranging
things.
There
are
things
to
do
and
you
take
a
lot
of
joy
doing
the
arrangement.
It's
the
same
with
the
practice.
We
are
not
perfect
as
a
human
being.
There
are
negative
things
in
us.
But
it's
a
very
big
joy
to
begin
to
rearrange
things.
When
we
have
a
good
eye,
we
can
notice
how
the
situation
is.
That
is
mindfulness.
And
mindfulness
helps
us
to
be
concentrated
first
on
the
things
that
should
be
helped.
In
the
first
instance.
And
then
understanding
will
come
in
order
to
tell
us
what
is
the
best
way
to
arrange
this
or
that.
So
the
process
of
practice
can
become
a
process
of
joy,
practicing
a
joy.
Imagine
you
are
already
a
Buddha,
perfect,
there's
nothing
for
you
to
do.
So
the
life
of
a
practitioner
is
nice,
can
be
very
joyful.
Look
back
and
ask
the
question
whether
by
your
thought,
your
speech
and
your
bodily
action
can
bring
about
relief
and
help
to
others
around
and
to
yourself.
And
if
you
think
it
is
positive,
it
is
possible
to
have
thought,
to
have
words
and
to
have
movements
that
can
bring
about
more
well-being
and
relief,
that
can
bring
you
joy
already.
And
you
don't
have
to
blame
yourself
anymore.
And
every
day,
every
hour,
every
minute,
you
can
perform
this
kind
of
action
in
form
of
a
thought,
in
form
of
a
word,
or
in
form
of
a
bodily
action.
Mindfulness
helps
us
to
manage,
to
handle
every
moment
of
our
daily
life.
in
a
direction
of
understanding
and
compassion.
It
can
be
very
joyful,
a
day
of
practice.
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