[One Sound of the bell.]

Dear Thay, I find I have a difficulty that I have become aware of recently. It is very natural and easy for me to feel compassion and understanding and forgiveness for others. But I have become aware that I reserve my harshest judgment and criticism for myself. And I think this has always been the way. If a friend came to me with the same thing I would feel immense compassion for her or for him but I can't seem to do it for me. I would like to learn how to love myself.

There is in us the element, the mental formation, who is capable of accepting ourselves as we are and not to judge. And that exists within ourselves. The seed of understanding, the seed of compassion, the seed of non-judgement is there in us. There is also the other seed, the seed of judgement, that they would like to operate and that is why we have to coordinate. We are this seed, but we are also the other kind of seed. We are the seed of joy. We are also the seed of sorrow. We have the seed of the complex of inferiority. We also have the seed of complex of superiority. We have the seed of equanimity also in us. So there are many, many elements in us that seem to be contradicting each other, that they share the same house, the same reality, that our person. So the practice we conduct is to recognize each seed as it is and accept it.

The seed of mindfulness, the seed of concentration, the seed of insight, the seed of faith, the seed of diligence are also in us. If we practice so that these five kinds of seeds can be watered every day and grow up, they will become very helpful for other seeds.

Mindfulness helps us to become aware of the situation. You have to become aware of the situation inside of you and around you. Like I'm aware of the tendency to blame myself, to judge myself. Mindfulness knows that. I am aware of that seed in myself. But mindfulness also is capable of being aware of the other kind of seeds. There is a seed of compassion, of acceptance in me, and I should be aware of that. And it is possible for me to water that seed in order to create a balance.

And the seed of mindfulness brings about the energy of concentration that makes it possible, that makes it easier for you to recognize and to concentrate on other seeds that are more positive. And the seed of concentration brings about the fruit of understanding. It helps us to see very clearly that we are a product of many conditions. If I am like this, these conditions have been like that. So if I perceive reality like that, I stop blaming.

It's like a youngster who joined a gang who did a lot of violence and got into a prison. When I look at that young person very deeply with concentration, you realize that there are so many conditions have led the youngster to become like he is now. And if you are put in the same conditions, you will be like him. So that kind of understanding, prajñā helps us to accept him as he is and begin to help him. Not to hate, but to try our best in order to change. Change not only in him but around him because the environment continues to fabricate youngsters like him.

So that kind of process of practice, mindfulness, concentration and insight help you to see what to do in order to improve the environment and change the victims of the environment. If I judge myself so hard, it will cause conditions like that, because I did not have enough understanding of the principle of interbeing. But if I know that conditions like education, society has brought me to this situation, I would stop blaming myself and I would accept myself as I am. And with that kind of intelligence I know how to rearrange so that there is a transformation within myself and around me. This is applied to every situation.

In other words, if we touch the reality of non-self, if we know that the teaching of Buddha is that this is like that, that is like that, this is like this, touching the nature of dependent arising, we will stop all our blaming, we are able to accept things as they are, and we will move ahead from there with a lot of peace, we will get a lot of joy. In us, maybe sometimes there is a desire to live very long, in order to witness to what is happening, and to help many people, many living beings. But sometimes there is the idea that to die is a very nice thing, because that is very restful.

So there are all kinds of tendencies within us. Sometimes we want this, sometimes we want that, We are a kind of television that has a lot of channels inside. And we should not allow just one channel to manifest and to overwhelm us. When we develop our five faculties, faith in the practice, diligence, mindfulness, concentration and insight, we are able to help all the other mental formations including compassion, understanding, non-discrimination [inaudible.] and we can help the seed of discrimination, despair, hatred to transform. That is why the daily practice is to have the five powers, the five kind of energies I just mentioned, to grow.

And we will bring everyone along, because in us there is not one person. We are a community. Speaking of interbeing, there is no self, no both in us. looking deeply into our consciousness, we see at least fifty-one mental formations operating together. And sometimes doubt takes the lead, sometimes faith takes the lead, sometimes anger takes the lead, sometimes compassion takes the lead. And that is why mindfulness helps us to be aware of that. Concentration and insight help us to coordinate so that all of them will be able to go in the direction of goodness, of peace, of joy.

Before we can change, we can improve, we have to accept the situation as it is. And accepting after having accepted, we have a lot of peace. There is no longer any conflict. When you go home after a long stay, you may find your house in disorder. And you know that you don't like that situation, but you have to accept your house as it is and begin to to rearrange things.

And you don't have any problem and you may have a lot of joy arranging things. There are things to do and you take a lot of joy doing the arrangement. It's the same with the practice. We are not perfect as a human being. There are negative things in us.

But it's a very big joy to begin to rearrange things. When we have a good eye, we can notice how the situation is. That is mindfulness. And mindfulness helps us to be concentrated first on the things that should be helped. In the first instance.

And then understanding will come in order to tell us what is the best way to arrange this or that. So the process of practice can become a process of joy, practicing a joy. Imagine you are already a Buddha, perfect, there's nothing for you to do. So the life of a practitioner is nice, can be very joyful.

Look back and ask the question whether by your thought, your speech and your bodily action can bring about relief and help to others around and to yourself. And if you think it is positive, it is possible to have thought, to have words and to have movements that can bring about more well-being and relief, that can bring you joy already. And you don't have to blame yourself anymore.

And every day, every hour, every minute, you can perform this kind of action in form of a thought, in form of a word, or in form of a bodily action. Mindfulness helps us to manage, to handle every moment of our daily life. in a direction of understanding and compassion. It can be very joyful, a day of practice.