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The Practice of Non-violence

Thich Nhat Hanh · April 29, 1999 · Plum Village, France
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The fourth mindfulness training is the art of listening with compassion and using loving speech within the family. We already carry violence in each role—father, mother, child—and must learn to care for it through deep listening and loving speech. Organize regular “listening sessions” at home, inviting one or two respected friends, siblings or teachers when a neutral witness can help bridge wrong perceptions and restore trust.

Key practices include:
• Setting aside time every day to listen patiently to your child, your partner and yourself—this is the practice of love.
• Helping children embrace strong emotions through mindful breathing and walking together, offering support before crises escalate.
• Applying the skillful means of đồng sự (“doing together”) by joining your child’s activities—watching a good TV program, fishing, or simply sitting quietly—to guide and invest in their future.
• Caring for two children:

  1. the wounded child within you
  2. the child sitting before you

Family becomes a universal school of peace education. By investing time, energy and affection, you offer society its best gift—your children—and find true meaning beyond fame or wealth. Cultivate listening and compassionate speech in every interaction, and celebrate your ancestors’ support through a family tree and altar, calling on their life force to sustain you in moments of difficulty.

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