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Transforming Mind Formations and Building Love
Today we begin with the relationship between ourselves and those around us, especially between husband and wife, parent and child, and friends. When we suffer, we often
- blame the other person
- want to punish them so that we suffer less
but this only deepens the suffering for both. To truly love, first we must understand and love ourselves, to look deeply into the ways we unintentionally make ourselves suffer (buying food that does not suit us, watching films full of psychological toxins…) and only then can we have the capacity to understand the other person. Only when we can understand the suffering and the deepest aspirations within ourselves and within the other, can we bring about true happiness.
The practice is to “take account” with ourselves and with our loved ones, to clearly see the seeds we and they have planted in the store consciousness—if they are wholesome, we nurture them; if unwholesome, we stop watering them and replace them with healthy mental formations. In Buddhism, there are two levels of mind:
- mind consciousness—the living room where we are aware and think
- store consciousness—the basement where the seeds are kept hidden
along with three dark seeds known as the three evil paths: hell, hungry ghost, and animality. Practicing with mindfulness, embracing unwholesome mental formations as a mother holds her child, or practicing “changing the peg” to transform craving, anger, and ignorance into loving kindness and wisdom, helps ourselves and our loved ones to go through suffering and harvest peace and joy.