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Wrong Perceptions
When experiencing difficulty with a parent or partner, practice walking and sitting meditation to recognize their good qualities and restore communication through writing. In instances of witnessed aggression, such as an adult mistreating a child, there is a responsibility to intervene. If you become angry at the situation, three people are then angry:
- The adult expressing violence.
- The child receiving the violence.
-
You, who are angry at the injustice.
To help effectively, personal anger must be replaced with compassion and calm, allowing for the use of upāya-kauśalya, or skillful means.
A bodhisattva uses skillful means to intervene, such as diverting an adult’s attention by asking the time or winning their heart to eventually help the child. Insight reveals that the roots of a child’s suffering often lie in the parent; therefore, changing the family environment and the parents’ behavior is the way to help the young. This same compassion applies to those who misunderstand or insult us; by recognizing them as victims of wrong perceptions or habit energy, the desire to punish is replaced by the desire to help.
Practicing with a Sangha combines individual mindfulness and concentration to produce greater insight for solving daily problems. Every day requires the application of:
- Mindfulness.
- Concentration.
- Insight.
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Skillful means.
A specific meditation involves listing the positive qualities of one’s father and mother to overcome the blindness of anger. This practice can restore relationships even after a parent has passed away, as ancestors remain alive within us. Communicating through the Dharma removes barriers and makes dialogue possible at any time.
