Dear Thay, I'm very grateful for your teaching that has helped me over time learn ways to transform my feeling that I'm a victim. I realized I was transmitted thinking and behaviors of being a victim from my Jewish and my Native American ancestors who suffered greatly. And from this practice, I've learned to cultivate understanding and I believe have love in my heart for people that hurt me.

But my question is perhaps how you might advise that I can act and behave in a way that I do not behave as a victim. And sometimes it's just simple things. I regret that even times here at a retreat around many wonderful people, people that are my friends, but who I feel I have maybe some disconnection, it's easier for me to just walk away and not look at them. And then later I think, perhaps I'm behaving as a victim because I will not walk by them or say hello. And so perhaps if you please just advise me on a better way to not behave as a victim.

The key problem is how to see the suffering in them. Of course, there is suffering in these people. If they are happy, they would not behave in such a way that makes you suffer and feel you are their victims. So look and see that they are victims of their own suffering. And so far, no one has been able to help them to suffer less.

And you may be the first person who can help them. And that is the process: looking deeply to see the suffering in them, to see that they don't know how to transform their suffering, that no one so far has helped them to transform their suffering, and they continue to suffer. You only suffer with them.

And if you have that kind of insight, then compassion in you will grow. You behave not as a victim but as a bodhisattva. Instead of trying to run away, you want to stay and help because you know you have the capacity to help. Compassion goes together with happiness.

Scientists have found out that the energy of compassion can heal your body, reduce inflammation and pain in your body. Not only compassion can heal the mind, but also heal the body. And when you are happy, you are peaceful, you have more energy.

And with happiness as energy and with compassion as the other kind of energy, you are ready to stay and to help them suffer less. And if you have had the experience of helping other people, you have the confidence that in this case you can help. And you will not have the idea of running away.

Thank you. It's time for us to have lunch.