Sr Thuan Nghiem talks about the physiology of love. How we received love as babies, the family environment, affect how we internalize our suffering which determines how much suffering we create for ourselves and others. However as adults we can create new neural pathways to learn to recognize the conditions of happiness around us and not drown in our suffering. As adults we also need love and care and a loving relationship is already a physiological remedy. To govern our physiological balance we need to build good relations with others and know how different organs in our body are associated with different emotions.
When communicating, how we communicate is as important as what we communicate. We learn to listen with empathy and mindfulness, we listen without getting lost in the details of their story, and we listen in order to help someone get back on their feet . We should never underestimate our capacity to cope, get back on our feet and make our own decisions. We learn to speak with our true feelings about what happened and not to accuse or blame others for what we feel.
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